Untitled
Well if you are wondering what is this all about, let me explain that it speaks about my days after I left my previous project titled MMI and before moving to the Pune facility of Sasken. Didn't feel like I should search for a title.
It was at my behest that I was going to be transferred to Pune. I had initially thought that it would be a good idea to be near my home town. No way was it inspired from 'Swades' where a character says, 'apne ghar ka diya and giving light to neighbour's house'. But for some reason, unknown even to me I believe, I had asked for that transfer. Later did I realise what I had asked for and wondered whether I really needed it. The regret was further fortified by the fact that the MMI team was a good team and only people who had lost their mind would opt out of it unless there was a good enough reason.
However, I comforted myself by telling that the only way one can grow is by staying out of comfort zone. I had learnt this at my gym. You start with a weight and you gradually get accustomed to lifting it. After this if you want your muscles to grow you need to upgrade to a heavier weight which is painful but yet that step has to be taken.
So here I was, part of a new project. I was supposed to work from Bangalore for a few months before being eventually moved to Pune. The idea, as they told me, was that I should get ramped up here and then move to Pune. I am getting ramped up but with a difference. I am explaining myself what I think I should believe in. And I am discovering that it's not easy to be what you think you should be when the wind is against you.
To start with, I have always tried to convince myself that you should live every momemt independent of the previous ones. This they say is important if you want to be happy in this world. But somehow I find this very difficult. I always try to draw comparisons. I feel I found my junior college quite bad because my school life was much better and my engineering was again much better than my junior college. May be that's the reason that I like to cherish the memories from my school and engineering days. Wonder if I could treat each moment independent of the other would I find my present days to be better irrespective of the time I had in MMI team.
The second important thought that I want myself to believe in is that happiness is something that is intrinsic and I shouldn't be searching for it in things around me. Frankly speaking I don't quite know what I want to believe in. I don't know how to be happy independent of my surroundings. But as I see it, that's what makes me unhappy at times. For eg. I feel times were good when I had 'my type of people' around me. I want to tell myself that my being happy shouldn't hinge upon such factors. But then I don't know how else one can be happy. But still I want to persist with this hoping that someday I would really understand what I want to believe in.
(written- 11th Apr' 06)
It was at my behest that I was going to be transferred to Pune. I had initially thought that it would be a good idea to be near my home town. No way was it inspired from 'Swades' where a character says, 'apne ghar ka diya and giving light to neighbour's house'. But for some reason, unknown even to me I believe, I had asked for that transfer. Later did I realise what I had asked for and wondered whether I really needed it. The regret was further fortified by the fact that the MMI team was a good team and only people who had lost their mind would opt out of it unless there was a good enough reason.
However, I comforted myself by telling that the only way one can grow is by staying out of comfort zone. I had learnt this at my gym. You start with a weight and you gradually get accustomed to lifting it. After this if you want your muscles to grow you need to upgrade to a heavier weight which is painful but yet that step has to be taken.
So here I was, part of a new project. I was supposed to work from Bangalore for a few months before being eventually moved to Pune. The idea, as they told me, was that I should get ramped up here and then move to Pune. I am getting ramped up but with a difference. I am explaining myself what I think I should believe in. And I am discovering that it's not easy to be what you think you should be when the wind is against you.
To start with, I have always tried to convince myself that you should live every momemt independent of the previous ones. This they say is important if you want to be happy in this world. But somehow I find this very difficult. I always try to draw comparisons. I feel I found my junior college quite bad because my school life was much better and my engineering was again much better than my junior college. May be that's the reason that I like to cherish the memories from my school and engineering days. Wonder if I could treat each moment independent of the other would I find my present days to be better irrespective of the time I had in MMI team.
The second important thought that I want myself to believe in is that happiness is something that is intrinsic and I shouldn't be searching for it in things around me. Frankly speaking I don't quite know what I want to believe in. I don't know how to be happy independent of my surroundings. But as I see it, that's what makes me unhappy at times. For eg. I feel times were good when I had 'my type of people' around me. I want to tell myself that my being happy shouldn't hinge upon such factors. But then I don't know how else one can be happy. But still I want to persist with this hoping that someday I would really understand what I want to believe in.
(written- 11th Apr' 06)
posted by chega at 2:45 am
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home