Dialogue with God

One day when I was alone at home there was a great thunder and lightning. From nowhere God appeared before me and the following conversation followed:

I: Am I really looking at you God?
God: Provided you are not squint.

I: (adjusting my eyeballs) Why didn’t I ever see You before?
God: Maya had blinded you.

I: Actually I don’t like playing the blind man’s buff but its difficult saying no to beautiful girls. By the way, what brings you down here?
God: Gravity.

I: Please be seated.
God: Thank you.

I: Sorry, I shouldn’t be asking you this but I am too eager to know whether you are Jesus, Mohammad, Ram or someone else.
God: I am none of them. I am God. (Then reading my confusion) The people you just mentioned were not Gods; they were ordinary people like you, who dedicated their lives for the people around them.

I: Then what exactly are you?
God: I told you I am God. I belong to the kingdom of Gods which is up there in the sky.

I: How different are you from either of the Gods that we worship?
God: You seem to be a very ignorant person. Let me start with the basics.

I: I have already learnt BASIC at school.
God: Shut up and just listen to me. You see there are two kingdoms; one that of Gods and the other is yours, the Earth. The names of people you were chanting belong to the Earth and not our kingdom. They took birth on the Earth and died there. Why are you hooked on to the names of people dead centuries back? Even in the recent past there were people of similar creed namely, Mahatma Gandhi and Mother Teresa. Going by your logic even these people should have been called Gods. Then why aren’t these people worshipped?

I: For us God is the one with paranormal powers. Because of our sincere prayers one day He would come down here and destroy all the evils, restore order and make this world a better place to live. He would arrive very much like you. Just before you arrived, there was thundering and lightning i.e. to say that the whole world know that God is here.
God: Oh! That was not exactly lightning. The flashes of light were generated when I encountered friction as I entered the Earth’s atmosphere with great speed. And it thundered when I crash landed on your roof top. Good thing you mentioned about the prayers, I request you to stop praying. Your prayers that are directed towards us adversely interfere with our radio frequencies and we can’t listen to the songs sung by the fairies. And as it is none of us Gods are interested in your worldly matters and don’t expect us to help you out with your problems. If you are genuinely want to change the world then stop wasting your time in prayers. Utilize the same in trying to inculcate the virtues of Jesus, Mohammad and Ram. In short, try becoming better and self reliant human beings rather than vehement followers of a certain God. (Glancing at his wrist watch) I think I should leave now else I would miss a great dance number by Mandakini.

Then as God left there a blinding brightness and I somehow managed to open my eyes to watch Him go, only to see the sun peeping through my bedroom window.

(written sometime in 2000-2001)