Being Virus
Hi! I am a virus. Don’t worry I am dead now. It’s good to be dead. At least there are no illusions now. Everything is so clear, no false hopes, no blind beliefs and no fear of the unknown. I think death is the only good thing that ever happens to a living creature.
Not sure where I was born. I mean that I am not aware whether the world that we lived in was someone’s stomach, chest, throat or anything else. But that was our world or so we believed. And our scriptures often praised the order that existed in our world. Everything was very well planned and everyone said that some God had designed it for us.
I remember as a child I marveled at everything that existed around me. Everything seemed to have a purpose and may be even I had a purpose – that’s what everyone told me. They also told me that only viruses were the chosen ones to understand and realize their purpose. I am not sure who told these wise viruses such a thing. And whether they were told such a thing or they simply assumed it to satisfy their egos.
The presence of a supernatural power was a very compelling idea. There was no way we could refuse it. It was as though we were playing a game that had a set of rules. Whenever anyone tried to break them somehow something inadvertent happened. Someone always seemed to encourage certain behavior while discourage yet another.
The behaviors that were encouraged by this supernatural someone were labeled in our world as good moral behavior while the ones that were discouraged were assumed to be immoral. Parents always taught their kids to be good viruses, good as explained above. We led our entire lives believing that being a good virus was the most important thing in life.
However, there was a certain discrepancy in our orderly world. But it was unto us whether we wanted to notice it or turn a blind eye to it. Somehow everyone suffered here. Viruses who led a moral life suffered equally as the amoral viruses. The only difference was that whenever a moral virus itself suffered it often thought that it was growing but whenever an amoral virus suffered the same moral virus thought it to be a punishment meted out for the immoral deeds that it had performed.
Let me admit that even I was one of those viruses who always strived to be a good virus. And whenever things went wrong I assumed it to be an opportunity to grow, to learn new things. Though I never quite believed in supernatural power, I had an indivisible faith that what was called moral was in fact moral and that this was the only way to lead life.
Then I met my dear friend – death. Death awakened me and made me aware of the story that I was telling myself and believing it too for my entire life. I could never believe that someone could betray anyone to such an extent to meet its own needs.
Death took me to a different plane from where I could see things in a different light. I could see how our world was only a part of some organ of some being. Death showed me how our existence and growth in a controlled manner helped the organ of this being to perform optimally. Also, about how certain behaviors on the part of our community worked to the advantage of this being. Hence we were conditioned accordingly and manipulated psychologically to have faith in certain things. To this being me as person had no significance. It was only utilizing me and when I ceased to be of use to it, it got me killed.
I wonder if this being is what our scriptures referred to as the supernatural power. If it is so, then I am glad that I never had any faith in it. But I am disappointed with myself for almost blindly believing certain things to be moral or otherwise. Also, I am disappointed to know the way I was manipulated and that I am in fact nothing in this scheme of things. And that my beliefs that I so dearly trusted are only my self made illusions.
(written - 19th Sept' 06)
Not sure where I was born. I mean that I am not aware whether the world that we lived in was someone’s stomach, chest, throat or anything else. But that was our world or so we believed. And our scriptures often praised the order that existed in our world. Everything was very well planned and everyone said that some God had designed it for us.
I remember as a child I marveled at everything that existed around me. Everything seemed to have a purpose and may be even I had a purpose – that’s what everyone told me. They also told me that only viruses were the chosen ones to understand and realize their purpose. I am not sure who told these wise viruses such a thing. And whether they were told such a thing or they simply assumed it to satisfy their egos.
The presence of a supernatural power was a very compelling idea. There was no way we could refuse it. It was as though we were playing a game that had a set of rules. Whenever anyone tried to break them somehow something inadvertent happened. Someone always seemed to encourage certain behavior while discourage yet another.
The behaviors that were encouraged by this supernatural someone were labeled in our world as good moral behavior while the ones that were discouraged were assumed to be immoral. Parents always taught their kids to be good viruses, good as explained above. We led our entire lives believing that being a good virus was the most important thing in life.
However, there was a certain discrepancy in our orderly world. But it was unto us whether we wanted to notice it or turn a blind eye to it. Somehow everyone suffered here. Viruses who led a moral life suffered equally as the amoral viruses. The only difference was that whenever a moral virus itself suffered it often thought that it was growing but whenever an amoral virus suffered the same moral virus thought it to be a punishment meted out for the immoral deeds that it had performed.
Let me admit that even I was one of those viruses who always strived to be a good virus. And whenever things went wrong I assumed it to be an opportunity to grow, to learn new things. Though I never quite believed in supernatural power, I had an indivisible faith that what was called moral was in fact moral and that this was the only way to lead life.
Then I met my dear friend – death. Death awakened me and made me aware of the story that I was telling myself and believing it too for my entire life. I could never believe that someone could betray anyone to such an extent to meet its own needs.
Death took me to a different plane from where I could see things in a different light. I could see how our world was only a part of some organ of some being. Death showed me how our existence and growth in a controlled manner helped the organ of this being to perform optimally. Also, about how certain behaviors on the part of our community worked to the advantage of this being. Hence we were conditioned accordingly and manipulated psychologically to have faith in certain things. To this being me as person had no significance. It was only utilizing me and when I ceased to be of use to it, it got me killed.
I wonder if this being is what our scriptures referred to as the supernatural power. If it is so, then I am glad that I never had any faith in it. But I am disappointed with myself for almost blindly believing certain things to be moral or otherwise. Also, I am disappointed to know the way I was manipulated and that I am in fact nothing in this scheme of things. And that my beliefs that I so dearly trusted are only my self made illusions.
(written - 19th Sept' 06)
posted by chega at 2:28 am
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